afraid of alone

The feeling of nothing is the addiction of nerves
fear and shame and hurt and pain are left alone
standing by on the shelf of forgotten things
how could I forget my daily does of heart numbing morphine?

What would become of me if I remembered how to make salty water?
Who forgot to tell me that being broken is stronger than stone?

What is this wall that has no door?
Maybe a dream...adrenaline's addicting
if I gaze deep enough into the floor
my beautiful gift, starts to bleed.
Falling apart...not torn it seems
I'm burning alive, can you redeem me?
Can you free me from the icy stains
of hate and rage that go untamed.

So I give you tears and all my fears
I give you disease and beg for a cure
I give you the stale heart that barely breathes
bring it to life and let it scream
I give you drugs that flow through streams
of veins that lead to the lake where my soul drowns unseen
grant the moments to bring out tears
bring back feeling I've buried in years
kill the numb that's stalking me
and break the binding chains of hands and feet
bring me to life before I turn thirty three
take my cross that they make me carry
if time alone keeps me away
let me feel the cold red stains

break me down and let me feel
feeling brings meaning to my habit that breathes
grant me the bone chill that spreads through a spine
afraid of alone and about to die...oh my God let me cry.